LayCool vs. Erika Andersch: Triangle of Terror!
LayCool are in the ring in their “Flawless” hoodies, taunting Erika Andersch for not being as pretty as they are – even though she is, and arguably more so. They call her “an overgrown freak” and “big and dumb”…and announce that in this evening’s Handicap Match, they are going to “chop her down to size.”
But Erika has some surprises for LayCool on this night. As Michelle and Layla await their opponent, they expect to hear Erika’s usual ring music. So they are taken way aback when instead the arena resounds with the low-pitched, thrashing “Red Triangle Rag” and the two girls are confronted by two people they never would have expected to meet up with in a million years: the Poodle Lady and Flame the Snake Woman, representing Gotham City’s Red Triangle Circus Gang! The two gang molls have their pets with them: the Poodle Lady is carrying her poodle, Darla; while Flame has her python, Pazuzu, draped around her! LayCool are appalled, wondering what right these two carnies think they have to be here.
They are still wondering when Tatanka’s “War Cry” fills the arena and Erika herself finally enters, garbed as her Hollywood persona of the war-painted and feathered Knifethrower Dame! Erika has returned to her Red Triangle roots, resurrecting an alter ego a lot more threatening than Diamond!
Once their shock passes, LayCool’s attitude shifts to one of contemptuous mockery. Layla
makes the “woo-woo-woo-woo-woo” gesture with her hand over her mouth while Michelle removes a turnbuckle cover as Erika and her entourage descend the entrance ramp – and whips it right at Erika’s head! But Erika’s reflexes are in Gotham form on this night, and the cover is cleft in two by her tomahawk!
LayCool are even more surprised than before, but as Erika climbs into the ring they quickly resume their mocking attitude: as Layla sneers and leers, Michelle snatches off Erika’s feathered headdress and hurls it to the mat! Flame skewers LayCool with an icy glare, while Darla growls! The poodle continues growling even after she is set down on the steel steps to wait out the match.
But Erika has remained focused. Her normally permed blond hair hangs long and is dyed black, and a native necklace encircles her throat; her skimpy costume is all fringes and fur. She watches as LayCool shed their hoodies to reveal their color-coordinated tank tops and shorts. Michelle smacks Layla’s hand, indicating that she will start the match. Flame and the Poodle Lady use their thumbs and index fingers to flash the “triangle” sign to Erika as a show of solidarity and a token of good luck; Erika nods confidently and returns the hand gesture.
The bell rings as Knifethrower Erika surges toward Layla. The English-born Diva attempts a short-arm clothesline – but Erika ducks, keeps running, springboards off the ropes, and pummels Layla’s jaw with a high knee! Before Layla can recover, the Red Triangle Gang’s woman-warrior executes an inverted atomic drop; then she follows up with several backhand chops!
Finally, Layla can take no more punishment. She retreats to the far corner, cravenly begging off as Erika watches in disgust. Then she slides under the ropes and out of the ring, causing Erika to pursue. She runs down the right-hand length of the squared circle past Michelle before turning right; Michelle jumps backward so that Erika will not knock her down. Flame sees Layla approaching and she and Pazuzu go to confront her – but the Englishwoman slips back under the ropes and waits for her Native-garbed opponent to follow suit before stomping on the Indian’s shoulder and kicking her prone torso several times! Then Layla crouches over Erika and puts her in a crossface, holding her captive for about half a minute and laughing cruelly, causing the audience to boo! Erika at last manages to escape after repeated elbows to Layla’s belly and face.
While the duskier half of LayCool is still stunned, Erika treats her to even more backhand chops, uttering Tatanka’s war cry as she does so; the crowd goes wild! Layla is helpless as Erika Irish-whips her into the far ropes and nails her with a Clothesline From Hell on the rebound! Erika goes for the pin – 1…2 – only for the referee to note that Layla has managed to grab the bottom ring rope! Erika has no choice but to let her victim go.
The battered Layla tags in Michelle – but the former schoolteacher decides that LayCool are in over their heads and crawls under the ring to hide! Erika tries to go in after Michelle – but Layla, literally seizing the opportunity, grabs the tail of the Indian’s dyed-black mane and whips her back-first into the audience barricade! Michelle slips right back out from her hiding place and tosses the injured Erika under the ropes and back into the ring. She runs over to the far corner where the steel steps are set up – ignoring Darla’s snarls – and waits for Layla to Irish-whip their injured foe toward her, where she greets the Gothamite with a Big Boot!
The blond bully-girl Irish-whips Erika back across the ring so that she hits the far turnbuckle; while Erika is still dazed, Michelle subjects her to a corner foot choke! Letting go after four seconds, the blonde mounts the ropes and stands over Erika, punching downward on her brow and temples! Now clearly on a roll, Michelle draws back and waits for Erika to stagger her way to the center of the ring – where she promptly takes a corkscrew neckbreaker! Michelle attempts a pin – 1…2… - but Erika kicks out just in time!
A frustrated Michelle tags in Layla, who finds the winded circus-gang gal easy prey for a reverse roundhouse kick! Next comes a snapmare, followed by Layla circling around to face the semi-supine Erika and deliver a barrage of overhead punches to the Indian’s face! Then, after another snapmare, Layla executes a merciless facebuster and goes for the pin! 1…2…kickout! LayCool are incensed! Layla allows Erika to rise, only to come at her with a clothesline. But the still-game Erika ducks, spins, and executes a savate kick that drives Layla’s skull into the exposed turnbuckle! Erika covers Layla! 1…2 – Michelle dives in to break up the pin!
Michelle hauls Erika to her feet and punches her in the gut several times before bouncing her head into the nearest turnbuckle cover and tying her to the Tree of Woe! Erika is then forced to endure a rope-aided figure-four necklock! The hits just keep on coming as Michelle drags Erika to the center of the ring and takes her down with a Russian legsweep!
Gotham’s most wanted have had enough of LayCool’s chicanery! As Michelle is preparing to deliver a match-ending Faith Breaker, she is forced to confront the fright of her life: Flame mounting the ring apron, slipping through the ropes, and extending Pazuzu toward her homegirl’s enemy! Michelle is so terrified of the python that she lets go of Erika and cowers back into a corner! But even there she is not safe, for the Poodle Lady is waiting there and positions Darla’s viciously growling mouth right next to Michelle’s ear! The “flawless” blond bitch becomes even more frightened at the beastly noise and runs as fast as she can as far away from the dog as possible – only for Erika to tackle her with a Lou Thesz press! After ten straight punches to the blonde’s pretty face, Erika leaves her foe sitting in a daze and mounts the opposite turnbuckle to perform the coup de grâce: a diving crossbody! That does it! 1…2…3! Gotham’s bad girls are victorious!
Layla rushes into the ring to tend to her shell-shocked friend…and soon wishes she hadn’t. The arena lights suddenly go out and the sinister strains of “Snake Bit” are heard. As the theme builds to its climax, the lights come back on – and Layla is mortified to find Pazuzu wrapped around her! She lets out a hideous scream and faints! Michelle barely notices her partner’s distress as she groggily comes to her senses…but just as she is attempting to sit up, the Poodle Lady comes forward and orders Darla to sit right down on Michelle’s face! The dog rubs her anus into Michelle’s nose and mouth until the evil Diva’s voice is hoarse from repeatedly howling “NOOOOOOO!” Humiliated by the stinkface, Michelle McCool curls into a fetal position and trembles while murmuring “Oh God oh God oh God oh God…” Knifethrower Erika stands triumphantly over the two destroyed Divas as she and her carnival cronies raise their hands in victory!